Taking Silence as Comprehension

I can’t tell you how often I’ve heard patients say that they didn’t know what questions to ask. Others have said that they were too intimidated to question a doctor. I recall George Lewis, who appeared in our video Voices from the Lived World of Illness saying, “You hear but you don’t comprehend. A day or so later you wish you would have asked questions.” In the same video Pat Barr states, “Doctors take silence as comprehension.”

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Blank Page

In my July 7 blog Patient Resource Consultant, I shared the circumstances in which I found myself unexpectedly working in cancer care. In essence, Pat Barr, a breast cancer patient and a good friend, convinced the Bennington cancer center’s medical director to hire a patient advocate and volunteered me. Reluctantly, I accepted but changed the job title to “patient resource consultant,” which more accurately described how I envisioned my role.

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March Together

Upon reviewing SpeakSooner: A Patient’s Guide to Difficult Conversations, Dr. Joe O’Donnell, former Dean at Dartmouth Medical School and Chief of Oncology at the White River Junction VA Medical Center, said, “ With a tool like the Center for Communication in Medicine’s Difficult Conversations Guide, we can get on the same page as our patients, but even better, march together into a frightening future, more aligned with each other and able to support the chaotic journeys that having cancer brings.”

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I Will Not Die an Unlived Life

In my blog “With Great Difficulty or More Fully” (July 24, 2021), I referenced an article written by Dr. Ira Byock in which he discussed how doctors faced the end of life. Whether it was coincidence or not, only a few days after reading Dr. Byock’s article, a friend sent a poem by Dawna Markova (Awakin.org) titled “I Will Not Die an Unlived Life.” I’d like to share it with you.

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Gordian Knot

The other day a dear friend Rachel Hadas emailed to tell me that she “loves the intuitive wisdom, in cutting through Gordian Knots, that I demonstrate in my blogs.” I liked the sound of what she was saying but wanted to be sure that I understood the meaning of her words. So, as I often do, I looked up the definition of Gordian Knot. You see, Rachel is a renowned poet and professor of English Literature at Rutgers University and her metaphors are chosen with care.

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Willingness to Do the Best We Can

I was recently re-reading an email exchange with Dr. Skip Durning, who at the time was director of Hospitalist services at North Adams Regional Hospital. He wrote to me following a presentation to hospital staff that included our video “Voices from the Lived World of Illness.” After the viewing, the discussion with attendees highlighted the challenges of healthcare communication, especially when someone is seriously ill.

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